


Nightmares and Sexual Tension

by PrincessSkylar, VelociraptorPimp



Category: Avengers, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Avengers - Freeform, Captain America - Freeform, Child Abuse, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insomnia, Internalized Homophobia, Iron Man - Freeform, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Tension, Stony - Freeform, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Centric, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, child and spousal abuse, mentioned child abuse, non graphic!!!, spousal abuse (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 09:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6419173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessSkylar/pseuds/PrincessSkylar, https://archiveofourown.org/users/VelociraptorPimp/pseuds/VelociraptorPimp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony whump, basically. I love beating the crap out of him IDK why.</p><p>Okay haven't worked on this in forever but I swear I haven't abandoned it, I've just hit a major block for a long time. I've got a few other things I'm working on right now because I can't focus on this one. I'm just having trouble wrapping it up.<br/>That said, it's a good story and if you like Tony you'll enjoy it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The Avengers, sans Thor, who was currently in Asgard with his girlfriend, were gathered at the dining table. Tony had been the last to show up, at around nine thirty am, grumbling about how it was too early for anyone to be awake, and making a beeline for coffee. Which he took the last of before sitting at the table, Starkpad in hand to browse the morning news.  
Steve stood up to brew some more coffee. He knew, despite his inability to be affected by it, he would need caffeine to get through this particular day. It was comfortably quiet, save for the clinking and scraping of forks on plates, when Tony decided he couldn’t handle the silence any longer. He never did like prolonged silences.  
“Why do we have to do this ‘team day’ thing?” he asked, using air quotes, “Thor isn’t even here right now. And, this whole ‘bonding’ thing is a waste of my valuable time. I have work to do.”  
Steve let out an exasperated sigh. “Because, Tony, we do this every month, regardless of who is here. And getting to know each other better will help us on the field,” he explained as he poured himself some of the freshly brewed coffee.  
“Up to date weapons will help us on the field,” Tony corrected, giving Steve a pointed look. “My suit being in tip-top condition will help us, new arrows for Hawkeye will help us. A good com system, the Hulk not being naked, me getting enough sleep!”  
“It’s not my fault you chose to stay up late. You’re responsible for your own decisions, Tony,” Steve said in his Condescending Captain America voice.  
“Okay, then I’d like to make the decision to leave,” Tony shot back, picking up his coffee and standing to go.  
“Sit down, Tony,” Steve sighed. His tone made it clear that he wasn’t asking.  
“Oh, Captain, I get all tingly when you tell me what to do,” the genius quipped, but he took his seat nonetheless. “Why do you want me here so bad?”  
“So I can get to know you. So we can all get to know you, and you us.”  
Tony just scoffed.  
Bruce let out a weary sigh. “Believe it or not, we would actually like to get to know you better, Tony.”  
“Some of us,” Clint chimed in, mouth full of bacon.  
Tony shot them respective death glares, which did not have the desired intimidation factor, because it was a look they saw almost every time they spoke with him.  
All eyes shifted to Steve, because at that moment he had let out a pained grunt, then choked on coffee and had a small coughing fit. He waved off their concerned stares nonchalantly, managing to rasp out, “Coffee was too hot. I burned my tongue a bit.”  
“Awww, you want me to kiss it better?” Tony teased, before realizing what he was insinuating. He made a face, somewhere between confusion, disgust, and panic, before slipping on an amused smirk and leaning back in his chair.  
Steve rolled his eyes, but his cheeks and ears turned red. Possibly from anger, more likely from embarrassment. Either way, Tony had gotten him flustered and he was satisfied.  
Tony watched Steve set down his coffee and take his seat, picking up a newspaper and working on his food while the coffee cooled off. Even in an undershirt and sweats, unshowered and probably with horrendous morning breath, Captain America looked amazing. Tony watched him eat, mind drifting about for a few minutes before the captain looked away from his paper and made eye contact, “Can I help you?”  
“I can’t believe you’re actually reading the newspaper. You know it’s not 1947, right?” Tony said, punctuating his declaration with a snort and a shake of his head. He picked up his coffee and turned his eyes back to his Starkpad. Some article about Kim Kardashian popped up on his news feed and he swiped it to the side to get rid of it.  
Steve returned the snort, almost mocking him. “Yeah, you keep staring at those screens all the time and you might kill off enough brain cells to become a normal person.”  
Tony feigned an indignant gasp, putting a hand to his chest as if to say, ‘you’ve wounded me.’  
“I know you’re not exactly up to date on current scientific facts,” the genius started, “But whatever crap they told you about how screens melt your brain or give you eyeball cancer, or any other junk like that, it was just propaganda.”  
“Actually,” Bruce interjected, both hands wrapped around his mug of tea, “I don’t think it’s been proven or disproven whether screens ‘kill brain cells.’ But use of screens after the sun goes down has been shown to increase insomnia in people with an otherwise healthy lifestyle.”  
Tony glared at Bruce for ruining his point, while Steve just smiled and shook his head. Tony huffed, like a toddler who was just told he couldn’t have dessert, and slouched in his chair, turning his attention to his Starkpad to work on diagnostics for his suit upgrades.  
\---  
Steve battered a punching bag, which Tony was holding in place. Tony looked lost in thought, Steve mused, maybe he was thinking about suit upgrades, or women, or drinking. Maybe he was thinking about Steve. Why would he be thinking about Steve?  
Clint and Natasha could be heard sparring in the arena, cracking occasional jokes at each other. Steve was always thankful for moments like these, when he could reflect quietly in the company of people he trusts. Of course, Tony must have sensed Steve’s peaceful mood, because he chose that moment to break the silence.  
“Did you ever work out before… Ya know?”  
“Before the serum?” Tony nodded, prompting him to answer, “From time to time. But I was really scrawny, it took a lot out of me,” he was breathing heavy and sweating from exertion, but enjoying the adrenaline. Tony nodded again, going back into his own head. He wondered what Steve looked like as a normal person. From what he had heard, which was a lot, Steve had been smaller than the average guy. Smaller than Tony, even.  
“You want to go a few?” Steve offered after a few minutes of silence. Tony blinked, and shook his head, clearing his brain of thought cobwebs, then smiled. “Yeah,” he said, taking a step back and putting his fists up, as Steve braced the bag with his wrapped hands. Tony threw a few weak punches to warm up before working into a strong, steady pace, working up a sweat. For a time there was just Tony and the bag, no ghosts of failures past. No wormhole, no caves, no shrapnel, no Howard, he was fine, just fucking fine.  
“Hey Tony?”  
“Yeah Cap?” Tony replied, already breathless from the workout, among other things.  
“Can I ask you something personal?”  
Tony looked skeptical, but he shrugged and focused back on his punches, “Shoot.”  
“What was Howard like? I mean, as a father?”  
Tony froze, brown eyes locking with the captain’s bright blues. Steve swallowed, he had realized it might be a bad idea to bring up the man’s late father, but he was too curious. Howard had been his friend before he was frozen, he was sure Tony would be okay sucking it up for his sake.  
Tony looked at his hands and started throwing punches again, putting his whole body  
into the hits. “He was okay, I guess. We were in the papers all the time when I was a kid, I could dig up some old articles if you want.”  
“No, thank you. I’ve read a few. I want to know what he was really like, not what some reporters might have thought.”  
Tony shrugged again, eyes trained on his hands. “He was okay.”  
“You said that,” Steve reminded him,  
“There’s not much else to say.”  
“Did he ever talk about me?”  
Tony gave Steve a look he couldn’t quite read, that only lasted for a split second. “All the time,” Tony offered a smile, that kind of came out as a grimace and he met the captain’s eyes.  
“Called you his greatest creation,” Tony emphasized the last two words with two strong, hard hits.  
Steve thought about this for a minute, was he the reason Tony and Howard had had a bad relationship? Had the genius spent his life competing for his father’s affection against a dead man?  
Neither of them felt like carrying the conversation further after that, so they continued in silence.  
They stayed that way for a good half hour; Tony throwing hits without a word and Steve wondering what bothered Tony so much about talking about his father. They could still hear the occasional bits of conversation from the spies several yards away.  
Finally, Tony’s punches slowed and stopped. Breathing heavily, he said, “I’m done.” Steve nodded and they headed for their respective lockers, each procuring a water bottle and drinking to their satisfaction.  
Steve set his bottle down, and retrieved a small white tube from his bag, popping the cap off.  
“Are you putting on lipstick?” Tony joked, lowering his own bottle.  
“It’s chapstick,” the captain replied, applying the sweet smelling balm.  
Tony’s eyes were locked on the other man’s lips, for at least thirty seconds, watching him put on the chapstick before he realized he was practically drooling. Clearing his throat, he said, “Lipstick, chapstick, same dif. You are a dude, right? Cause if not I have a proposal for you-”  
“Tony,” there was a warning in Steve’s voice as he cut him off. The billionaire only smirked, knowing he had ruffled the captain’s feathers was enough, no need to pursue a fight. His eyes drifted back to Steve’s lips, wondering how it would feel to lick that chapstick off of them. To pin his captain against those lockers and hold him there, Steve’s hands in his hair while he moaned his name-  
Wait, what? Maybe he was just the tiniest bit tired.  
Tony frowned, seemingly at his own thoughts, and Steve tilted his head curiously.  
“Tony?”  
Tony blinked and shook his head, again. “Sorry. You say somethin, Cap?”  
“You okay?”  
Tony feigned confusion, “Yeah, of course. Little tired, maybe. Up late, you know how it is. Celebrity nightlife. I went to this fundraiser party, met this girl there. She had the biggest-”  
“Tony,”  
“Right. I’m gonna go shower up,” Tony said, patting the captain on the shoulder and running off before Steve had the chance to ask him any more questions in his tired and apparently delirious state.  
\----  
Later that evening, after the sun had set, the five superheroes were lounging in the common living room. Bruce was comfortably tucked away in a recliner reading a book entitled A Case of Need, Steve was lying on the floor sketching, Clint and Natasha were speaking to each other quietly on the couch, and Tony was on the floor with his back against the couch, nursing his favorite scotch, bored out of his mind.  
“Capsicle, I’m bored,” he complained.  
“Sucks to be you,” Natasha threw out. He rolled his eyes.  
“You’re practically keeping me prisoner and you’re not even talking to me,” he continued, “I thought this was supposed to be Team Bonding Night, not Sit Around And Do Nothing While Tony Goes Insane Night.”  
Steve looked up from his drawing, “Tony-”  
“Got any bright ideas then, Tinman?” Clint interrupted from his spot behind Tony’s head.  
The billionaire smirked, “I’m glad you asked, Birdbrain.” He stood, drink in hand, and made his way to the elevator. “Be right back.”  
“Ten bucks says he doesn’t come back,” Bruce mumbled. Natasha smiled and Steve shook his head, turning back to his sketch for just a moment before his mind started to not want to cooperate. What if Tony really ditched them? Not that it was really a huge deal, because he had been right, they weren’t really doing anything, but Steve had been enjoying the company.  
The elevator dinged and Tony walked back in, board game in hand and shit eating smirk on his face.  
“I’m not sure I like the look of this,” Hawkeye piped up.  
“Twister.” Was all Tony said.  
“Could be fun,” the female spy said with a shrug, “I’m in.”  
“Okay, me too,” Clint said,  
“Sheep,” Tony called. Clint replied by making a mature decision and sticking his tongue out.  
Steve was confused, he hadn’t heard of the game before, “How do you play?” he asked.  
Tony’s eyes went wide. “You’ve never played Twister before?” Steve just shook his head no.  
“Oh man. Okay, this is gonna be fun. You’re gonna have to learn as we go, though. I’m not gonna try to explain it to you.”  
Steve frowned, but slowly nodded. Tony got out a large white mat with four rows of different colored polka dots on it, and set it flat on the floor where the coffee table had been only minutes before. He then retrieved a spinner from the box with different colors on it, each corner with the name of a different limb.  
“Who wants to go first?” He asked.  
Natasha stood up and flicked the spinner that had been set on the floor next to the mat. Left foot red. She stood on the mat with her bare feet, her left on a corner polka dot. Clint went next, he got left hand blue, so he crouched next to his best friend and put his hand on the mat, “Tony,” the archer started, “Please tell me you’ve never had sex on this thing.”  
Tony replied with a chuckle and flicked the spinner, right hand green. He complied by putting his right hand on the middle green dot, and then looked to Steve, who stood awkwardly by the couch. “Captain,” he said, “your turn.”  
“So I just spin the-”  
“Yep. And then put your hand or foot wherever it tells you. Nothing but your hands and feet can touch the floor.”  
Steve nodded, leaning down to spin the arrow. Right hand yellow. He looked to Tony, “Which circle do I put it on?”  
“Doesn’t matter, long as it’s the right color, and unoccupied.” Steve nodded again, then looked at the mat, seeming to contemplate his options. He set his hand on the far side of the mat from the two spies.  
“Jolly Green, you want to play?” Tony offered. Bruce chuckled at the nickname, but shook his head no, eyes remaining on his book.Tony shrugged. “Your loss.”

They played at a slow pace for about twenty minutes, it was uneventful until Steve collapsed under his own weight, the first to lose. The second was Tony, and Natasha was the victor. “Alright,” she said, after Clint took a very undignified fall onto his butt. She stood up and offered her hand to the archer who accepted gratefully, and they took off together without another word. Tony stared after them for a minute, before turning to Steve, who was sitting next to him on the floor, “You wanna play again?”  
“I don’t know, Tony. Just the two of us?”  
“Yeah, one-on-one. Loser buys lunch tomorrow.”  
“Okay, you’re on.”  
It was nearing midnight, and Bruce got out of his chair, having finished his book. “I’m gonna hit the hay, guys. Goodnight.”  
“Sleep well, buddy,” Tony said with a fond smile.  
“Goodnight, doctor Banner,” Steve echoed.  
Tony stood and poured some more scotch as his friend left the room.  
“How many of those have you had?” Steve asked,  
“Not enough,” The billionaire shot back, punctuating his statement by throwing back a whole glass and pouring some more.  
Steve shook his head. “You’re going to make yourself sick,”  
“Relax, mom. I get smashed all the time, I’m immune to alcohol poisoning.”  
“Still, you should be careful.”  
Tony glared at him, “Do me a favor, get off my ass, would ya? I’m a grown man-”  
“Is that so?”  
“-And I can hold my scotch. It’s not your business how much I drink, and it doesn’t affect you at all.”  
“I just worry about you, Tony,” the billionaire scoffed at this, “And I-”  
“Look, can we just drop it?” he interrupted, “We got a game to play. And after I beat you, you’re taking me out to that new Mexican place on Third.” Tony finished his drink and set his glass on the coffee table. Steve shook his head disapprovingly, but didn’t say anything else. Tony silently spun the arrow, tension almost tangible in the air. “Right foot green,” he announced, taking his place on the mat. Steve took his turn, left foot red. Tony spun again, left hand red. Tony leaned across the mat and put his hand next to the captain’s foot, who then spun. Left hand green. Well.  
Steve cleared his throat, then leaned over Tony to follow the game’s directions.  
“Cap, I didn’t know you felt that way,” Tony joked,  
“Just spin the thing, Tony.”  
“Aye aye, cap’n,” Tony complied, left hand red again. He frowned and didn’t move. Steve spun right hand blue, he awkwardly reached an arm over Tony’s back to reach the nearest blue dot, accidentally brushing his backside in the process.  
“Watch those hands, Spangles.”  
Steve rolled his eyes. Tony took his turn again, left foot green, well that’s easy.  
Then Steve rolled again and it landed on right hand red. The captain tried to reach his free hand back toward his feet, and wound up collapsing, bringing Tony down underneath him with an “Oof!”  
“Sorry,” Steve said, face burning bright red and trying to untangle himself from the billionaire. Tony turned over on his back and grinned at his embarrassed comrade, who was now standing.  
“I win. Though I did technically touch the ground first… But you are the one who lost it. Let’s call it a tie. Where do you wanna go tomorrow?”  
The captain cleared his throat and offered a hand to help Tony up, who politely declined and stood on his own. “Mexican sounds fine, Tony.” Tony shot Steve a look he couldn't read, that only lasted for a second.  
“Okay. Well, you’re probably tired. Why don’t you head to bed, I’ll clean up.”  
Now that the Tony mentioned it, Steve really was tired, it must have been almost one in the morning. Steve stifled a yawn at the thought.  
“Thank you, Tony,” he said sincerely, putting a hand to his friend’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze. Tony only nodded and threw him the classic Tony Stark smirk, ever the charmer. “Goodnight, Tony.”  
“Good night, Captain. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”  
Steve let a yawn escape as he stepped into the elevator.  
\----  
Tony startled awake, sweating and hyperventilating. “J, lights please,” he said. The AI turned the lights up, but not so much that it hurt his eyes. He was laying in his bed, sitting now. At home. In his tower. With his teammates. Right, he was safe. He laid back down again and rubbed at his eyes, “Jarvis, what time is it?”  
“Four fifty one AM, sir.”  
“Great. Thanks, J,” he said, sitting up again and stretching. May as well get up now, he wouldn’t be able to sleep again. He swung his feet over the side of his bed and rubbed at his eyes again. He stood up and grabbed some jeans and a tee shirt from a pile on the floor and slipped them on before leaving his quarters and taking the elevator to the common floor.

He exited the elevator as it reached his desired floor and he headed straight for the coffee pot, brewing some fresh coffee and washing his cup.  
What was on the agenda for today? He still had some repairs to run on the Mark Eight, and Hawkeye needed those arrow modifications. He was relatively not busy today. Oh, and there was lunch with Steve later, which he fully intended to pay for, because, come on, billionaire.  
He heard the elevator ding just then and Steve walked out, wearing a tanktop and sweatpants with his hair sticking in every direction.  
“You look like crap,” Tony commented. Steve ignored him and took a glass from the cabinet to fill with water, chugging it greedily. “What are you doing up so early?”  
“I wake up with the sun,” Steve answered, refilling his glass. Tony looked outside, he hadn’t realised the sun was coming up.  
“That’s terrible,” he commented, pouring a cup of coffee and taking in the strong scent. Steve chuckled and shook his head. “I prefer it.” Tony looked at him like he was crazy, before shaking his head and taking a seat at the table to enjoy his coffee. “Why are you awake? Just yesterday you said nine was too early.”  
“And I stand by that, when it’s dumb crap. But I have work to do today, important work.” Steve nodded slowly, but he was skeptical. Tony continued, “A multi million dollar company can’t just run itself, you know. Though, that is a great idea, I bet I could create an artificial intelligence CEO. But then it would get all the credit for the company and I would be out of a job. Maybe just a lawyer slash document signing machine that could read and sign stuff for me. But with AI’s there’s always the danger of them going rogue, usually just in sci-fi movies, but it could happen in real life too.” He scratched at his goatee, pretending to be deep in thought. He picked up his coffee and took a sip. Steve smiled, it was cute when the genius rambled like that. No it wasn’t. Steve frowned.  
“I’m going to go for a run,” he said, turning and walking out, leaving Tony to his thoughts. Tony thought over the repairs he had to do today, he found one of the many Starkpads he had laying around and started working on that while he finished his coffee, before refilling his cup and heading for his workshop.

Steve started jogging at a slow pace, his mind racing. He loved to run because it was something physical to keep him occupied when his thoughts couldn’t seem to leave him alone.  
Like right now, he was thinking about Tony. About the previous night, and all the close contact. It had felt so good, not even necessarily in just a sexual way, just the intimacy of it all. He sped up, heading in the direction of Central Park to do some laps. But it was so wrong. Tony was not only his team mate, and the son of one of his best friends who died years ago, but he was a man. Steve couldn’t be in love with a man, it was just wrong. He understood that things were different nowadays and that the stigma was being fought, but he couldn’t shake the fear. He had seen people get hurt over things like this, and he had those ideas so strongly ingrained in him he just couldn’t flip a switch and decide he was okay with it. He ran for another hour, just thinking and running. Perhaps trying to outrun his thoughts.

Steve arrived back at the tower at around six thirty am, took a shower, dressed in a plain white tee shirt and jeans, and made himself breakfast. He was halfway through his meal when Jarvis addressed him, “Captain, Director Fury requests the whole team meet him at local headquarters for a mission.”  
“Okay. Thank you, Jarvis.”  
“Certainly, sir.”

“Great. Thanks, J,” Tony said. He sighed and lifted the welding mask off his face. Standing and removing his gloves, he walked to the workshop sink to wash his hands, splashing some of the cool water on his face and then turning off the sink and drying his hands and face on a clean rag.The Mark Eight wasn’t battle ready yet, the thrusters on his right hand and foot had been damaged in the last fight and he hadn’t found the time to fix them yet. He would have to take the Seven. Which was still remarkable and in working condition, but the Eight was better.

Tony drove the five of them to the nearest SHIELD base, after they packed anything they might need for the mission, and they were escorted to a small room by an agent to wait for Fury. Clint, Bruce, and Steve sat in three of the four available chairs, (after Steve made sure Natasha did not want a seat). Tony took to bouncing anxiously about the otherwise empty room.  
There was a brief knock to alert them of entrance before Director Fury opened the door. Steve stood at attention, but Fury eyeballed him and said, “At ease, son,” as he shut the door behind himself. The director had several manila folders in his hand. “Have any of my agents spoken to you about the situation?”  
They all shook their heads no. The director nodded. “Didn’t think so. Here’s the short version; This douche, Garrett Black, got a hold of some of the American military’s highly classified weapons. Your job is simple, confiscate and secure the weapons, and bring this guy to us. Alive.”  
“Where is he, sir?” Steve asked.  
“New Caledonia, a small island off the coast of Australia.” He handed each of them a folder, except Tony who took to looking over Bruce’s shoulder. Photos of the island, and of Black, plus written information about his tracking and the weapons he stole.  
“Um,” Clint spoke up, “If this guy has these big scary weapons, what’s he doing on a little island nobody’s ever heard about?”  
“Hiding. Luckily, SHIELD has been tracking him since before he stole the weapons because we had our own reasons to believe he was a threat. He has no idea that anyone knows where he is. I’d like it to stay that way until you can locate his exact hideout, shouldn’t be too hard considering how small the island is.”  
“Will that be all, sir?”  
“That will be all, Captain Rogers. Team.”  
Steve nodded and the five Avengers made for the airway to board a sleek looking black jet, (courtesy Stark Industries).  
\----  
They touched down at the SHIELD base on the East coast of Australia, where they waited for almost two hours before they boarded a boat headed for the island. The island was so small they could see the whole thing from the water, even as they were docking.  
They were put up in a small shack provided by a local SHIELD agent by the name of Virginia King.  
“Alright gentlemen, Black Widow,” the brunette agent acknowledged, “This is a very cut and dry mission. I’m sure Director Fury already gave you the details. But, to reiterate, get in, get the weapons, get Black alive, get out. This is simple and I expect it to take less than forty-eight hours, however you are welcome here as long as it takes for you to safely secure those weapons.” The team collectively nodded, listening carefully.  
The whole shack had only three rooms, bathroom, kitchen, sleeping area. There were five small cots lining the walls of the main room.  
“I will be in the next building over at all times. There is a radio in the kitchen with a direct connection to me, should you need anything. There is enough food to last the five of you three days. But in the event that this mission is extended, I can provide more. Please let me know if you happen to have trouble finding anything, aside from your target of course. I am going to go now, good luck on your mission.” With that, the agent made her exit out the front door of the shack.  
“Well, this sucks,” Tony commented.  
“Don’t be ungrateful, Stark,” Steve reprimanded, “It could be a hell of a lot worse. Just because it’s not a five star hotel does not mean that it is beneath you to stay here.”  
“Wrong, Captain. It is definitely beneath me. Let’s just get this damned mission over with so we can go home,” the billionaire grumbled, throwing his bag onto a cot.  
Bruce shook his head and claimed a cot of his own. Taking a seat, he said, “What now?”  
“Well,” the Captain started, “I wasn’t sure before how we would go about finding the target. But seeing as this island is so small, I think we could just split up and sweep it until we find something suspicious.”  
“Yeah, separate. Cause that always works out well,” Bruce commented.  
“Whatever gets the job done faster,” Tony said, the suit already assembling itself over his tee shirt and jeans.  
“Hold on, Tony,” the Captain said, “Fury wants us to do this without being detected. That means civilian clothing until we find him.”  
“Great,” the billionaire grumbled, the suit coming back off seemingly on its own.  
“So, we’re splitting up and you want us to walk around unarmed?” Clint asked.  
“Not unarmed,” the Captain replied, “but not in uniform. We carry concealed weapons, just in case. Do not engage the target until backup arrives.” He ended with a warning, eyeing the billionaire accusingly, who just rolled his eyes in return.  
“I promise I’ll be good, mommy. Can I go play now?” the genius quipped. Steve nodded.


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets kidnapped, gets out. US military is curious what happened so they use truth serum. Hell breaks loose, (but only in Tony's mind).

They first went over a map of the island and Captain America assigned each member of the team to sweep an area. Agent King came back and briefly went over the protocol for when they find the target. They were given firearms and extra maps. 

Natasha walked by herself through a heavily forested part of the island. She kept a hand on the gun at her hip, her eyes moving constantly. Searching for any sign of a hideout, testing the ground in front of her before each step. She picked up on a sound from her right. Ducking behind a tree, she silently drew her firearm and looked. Waited. She scanned the forest where the sound had come from. A small pig emerged from the brush, snorting at the ground with its thick snout. She holstered her gun and continued searching.

 

Tony made his way along the beach. He was nervous. He wished he could be in his suit, flying around, seeing everything. Being on the ground made him way more vulnerable. He clutched at his gun nervously, sweating. Whose idea was it to go to Australia in July? 

He trudged along, keeping a wary eye out. He looked into the jungle beyond the beach, Natasha should be close by. That thought comforted him a bit. He noticed something though, in the bushes. An irregularity. He wasn’t quite sure how to place it, something just seemed off. 

Walking closer, he kept a hand on his gun, eyeing the forest suspiciously. As he reached the edge of the forest he heard a creak. Looking down into the sand, he could see it now. There was a trap door. The plants looked strange because they were fake.

“Huh.” He said. He leaned down to inspect the door. It was wooden, crappy looking. He traced the edges of it with his hand, searching for a way in. 

Digging his fingers underneath the door, it lifted easily, the fake plants stayed in place on top of it. He swung it all the way open and looked down. Stairs.

“Guys,” He said into his comm, “I think I found something. On the beach, Southwest end. Right on the edge of the jungle.”

“Great,” Steve said, “Stay right there. Wait for backup, we’ll be there ASAP.” 

Tony sat at the top of the stairs, his back to the beach, to wait for his team. 

 

It wasn’t too long until he heard footsteps in the sand behind him. Joke on his lips, he stood and turned to face them, “Geez, it certainly-” Tony stopped. It was Black.

His hand flew to his firearm, but he was too slow. Black pushed him and he went tumbling backward down the stairs. His head struck the ground and he could’ve sworn he literally saw stars. The last thing he could remember seeing was Black walking down the stairs toward him, closing the door and locking it. 

 

Steve made his way toward the Southwest end of the beach, where Tony had been searching. But he saw no sign of the man. Frowning, he spoke into his comms radio, “Tony?” 

No answer.

“Stark, do you copy?”

Silence.

“Stark, this is not a game. I swear, if you come running out of that forest screaming I will shoot you.”

Still nothing. 

Steve was getting more uncomfortable by the second. He spotted Bruce further down on the beach, wringing his hands nervously. He made his way toward him. Clint and Natasha both emerged from the forest, and made their way to their commander.

“Have any of you seen Stark?” He asked. They all shook their heads no.

Bruce took off his glasses and cleaned them with his shirt. “Do you think he went in alone?” He asked.

“No,” Natasha said, “Stark’s impulsive. But he’s not an idiot.”

“Okay,” Steve said, “We need a game plan. Nobody goes anywhere alone. Hawkeye, Bruce, you two sweep the East side. Me and Natasha will take the West. You find anything, the first thing you do is call for backup. Got it?” They all nodded.

 

Tony’s head was pounding. He could hear his pulse. It was too loud, his head hurt so bad. He groaned, sitting up. Except that he was already up. He was in a chair, his wrists bound behind the back and his legs tied together. Shit. He opened his eyes, trying to get an idea of where the hell he was, but it was too dark. Way too dark. He felt his breathing speed up. Not here, not now. He needed to stay calm, because there was actual danger and panicking would not help. He tried to remember how he wound up here. He remembered the beach, the jungle. The mission. He must have come across their target. Well, that was just fantastic. No, really, he wanted to be tied up in some maniac’s underground bunker. He struggled against the ropes, testing them. 

“Do not bother with it, they are secure.” A man with an American accent, Texas maybe, said from behind him in the darkness. He tried to hide how startled he was, which wasn’t too hard in the dark. He closed his eyes and focused on breathing. 

“Garrett Black, I presume?”

There was a pause. “How the hell do you know my name?” The voice was menacing, a snarl, very close now, on his left.

“My people are hunting you. They’re gonna take your ass to Guantanamo, baby.” He replied coolly.

“Who do you work for?”

“Yeah, see, the thing is, they don’t really want you to know that. So, I’m gonna go ahead and not tell you. I just got a promotion so…” Tony joked.

“I do not think you understand,”

“Oh, trust me. I do.”

“You will tell me your full name and the name of anyone else working with you. How many men are here looking for me, and the name of your organization.” 

“And why would I do that?”

“Because I can make your life very difficult.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Tony challenged.

 

Steve and Natasha walked along the edge of the forest in tense silence. Steve felt nervous, he was worried. His stomach felt heavy. Natasha cleared her throat, catching his attention. He looked at her expectantly. 

“Don’t do that, Steve.”

“Do what?”

“Don’t beat yourself up. This was not your fault, it could have happened to any of us. And any of us could have gotten here on time, but we didn’t.” 

He nodded, but he couldn’t help it.

“I just… If I had kept an open comm, or made him back away until we arrived... I don’t know, Nat. There are just so many things I could have done differently.”

“But you didn’t. And it’s too late to go back. The important thing now is to find him. Safe.”

Steve nodded again, they searched on in silence.

 

Tony gasped as his head came above the water. Why did it have to be water?

“Who do you work for!?”

“Eat me,” It was supposed to be menacing but came out sounding raspy and pathetic.

More water.

 

Bruce and Clint made their way along the forest edge. They were tense, worried. They walked in silence, not really feeling like small talk and not knowing each other well enough for anything but.

Suddenly Clint put an arm out, across Bruce’s chest. Bruce looked at his teammate, and followed his gaze into the forest. He didn’t see anything at first, but looking closer he noticed that some of the plants were fake.

“That’s odd.” He observed. Clint nodded, moving closer. The archer bent down to inspect the ground beneath the plants. Bruce watched him silently.

“Just what I thought,” He said, “Trap door.”

“Trap door?” Bruce asked. Clint nodded.

“Yeah. It’s probably locked, too.” Clint searched for a handle. When he found one, he yanked it. It didn’t budge. “Damn it.”

 

Bruce called for Steve and Natasha, and they met up in a matter of minutes. Steve said, “What did you find?”

“A trap door.” Clint told him, gesturing toward the door. 

Steve frowned. “Have you tried opening it?”

“Duh.” Clint said. Steve’s frown deepened.

“Okay,” He said, “What now?”

“Should we call Agent King?” Bruce asked, “Maybe she could help.”

“That’s a good idea,” Natasha said, “I’ll get her on the phone right away.” 

 

Tony gasped and coughed up water as he came up again. He had lost count of the times he was dunked at around twenty. He was thrown roughly to the floor, and he heaved up water. He wanted to cradle his head, it was pounding, but his hands were still tied behind his back. 

“Are you ready to give me names?” Garrett asked. Yeah, they were on first name basis now.

Tony grunted, God his head hurt. “I think I’m good.” He said weakly. Apparently Black didn’t like that answer. He kicked him in the stomach and Tony heaved up more water with the motion. 

“Thanks,” He joked. Black picked him up by the collar of his shirt.

“Do you think this is some kind of game? I am not playing with you,  _ prisoner _ .”

Tony snorted. Black punched him in the face, hard. 

 

Agent King showed up in less than fifteen minutes with two agents in tow.

“I leave you kids alone for five minutes and you lose a team member. Your director is going to be very upset with me.” She told them.

“So sorry, ma’am. We’ll be happy to talk about it when our friend is safe.” Natasha said. Agent King nodded, “Do we have a plan?” She asked. 

“We laser the door open, Black Widow will go in and take down guards and surveillance. When the coast is clear and she has eyes on Tony, she’ll tell me. I’ll go in and talk to Black. I’ll call for you if I need backup.” Steve said. Agent King nodded in response. “Bruce, I don’t want the Hulk going in there. It’s too tight a space and we don’t even know what’s down there.”

“Absolutely, Captain. Just get Tony out of there alive.”

Steve and Natasha looked at each other and nodded. 

 

Tony coughed up blood onto the cement floor. Getting kicked in the stomach seems to do that. He was really tired. They wouldn’t be too long now, they had to have found the door by now - it wasn’t very well hidden. 

“You have a very strong will, I will give you that.”

“What’s with,” Tony took a breath, “The, uh. Like not, um…”

“Abbreviating?” 

“Yeah.”

“It is not proper.” Black said simply. Tony laughed, which hurt with his possibly broken ribs digging into the floor. He was working on his ropes, feeling the knots and figuring out how to untie them. He just needed a little time.

“You think it is funny?”

“I think it’s strange that a guy stealing bombs from the army cares about grammar. And grooming for that matter, are your hands manicured?”

“Enough of this. You are stalling, and you are wasting my time. If you will not tell me who you are working for then you are of no use to me.” He turned his back to face a table with weapons on it, just as Tony got the ropes on his hands loose. He scrabbled to his feet as fast as he could and came up behind Garrett Black, slamming his head into the table of weapons and grabbing a firearm. He backed away and pointed the gun at the other man.

Black stood up holding his head and turned to face Tony, who stood breathing heavy and feeling queasy. Tony was too dizzy, his vision was swimming and he wasn’t even sure if he could properly aim the gun. The other man was at least a foot taller than him, and slightly more muscular.

“You are no match for me,” Black was reaching behind himself for a weapon.

“Drop it. I swear to God I’ll shoot!” Tony warned. Black pointed his gun at Tony. 

 

“-ll shoot!” Natasha heard as she entered the cellar. BANG! A shot was fired. She called for Steve, drew her firearm, and ran to where the shot had come from.

As she walked into the next room, she saw a body lying on the floor, a bullet hole in his chest. Tony was standing pointing a gun at the body. He looked up at her before losing his balance and grabbing onto the chair next to him. He coughed and spit up some blood. 

“Tony!” She rushed to him and sat him down in the chair. She reached down to the man on the floor to check for a pulse. Tony had been aiming for his leg, he really had. God he felt awful. He coughed again, this time mostly water came up. 

Steve came in swiftly, his face fell when he saw the body on the floor. “Is he alive?” 

“Negative,” Natasha replied.

“Tony, we’re supposed to bring this guy in alive!” He lectured. Tony shrugged and offered up a weak half-smile. He looked terrible, face covered in bruises, clothes soaked. And he was shivering. Natasha took off her jacket and put it over his shoulders. He grunted in indignation, but accepted the jacket gratefully. Steve spoke into his comm to call the other agents down. Bruce and Natasha helped Tony back to their cabin, and Agent King called for a vehicle to come move Black’s body. 

\---

Fury was not happy with the news that Black didn’t make it. He was waiting for them in his office before the jet even landed.

“I would like to know what in hell happened that you were unable to follow my direct orders.” He scolded.

“It was my fault, director. I got hot and my aim was off. I just meant to incapacitate him.” Tony stated, voice shaking. He was so tired, he just wanted to get this over with and go home. Fury stared at him, disbelief and surprise clear on his face at hearing the genius speak so responsibly.

“This was on all of us, Sir,” Steve started, “There are a number of ways this could have been avoided. If there’s going to be punishment you’ll have to put all of us through it.” 

Everyone nodded in agreement, except Tony.

“I see.” Fury said.

Tony looked at Steve with a confused scowl. 

“Well,” Fury said, “Unfortunately, the military doesn’t give a damn if you think this is your fault, Captain. Stark is the one who pulled the trigger. I’ll need to debrief him privately. You’re all dismissed.”

They all stood to leave, including Tony. “Well, it’s been a pleasure, it really has. But you know, I have so much work to do, people to see. We’ll talk about all this some other t-”

“Sit your ass down, Stark.” Fury said. Tony complied. He knew he wouldn’t get out of this, he was just really really hoping he would. Authority made- makes- him nervous, and he’d rather not be alone with anyone with real power over him. He had a tendency to say stupid things, especially when he’s nervous, and it has gotten him in lots of trouble.

Fury stood and began pacing behind his desk, making Tony even more uncomfortable.

“You are a pain in my ass, Stark.” He said.

“I try.” Tony joked. Fury looked at him with his one eye. Tony held eye contact, despite being able to hear his own heartbeat. 

“Do you have any idea how serious this is?” Tony nodded. Apparently Fury wasn’t in the mood for humor. “Thanks to you, there are thousands of dollars worth of military weapons  _ missing, _ and they’re on my ass to find it.”

“Technically, it’s not my fault they went missing in the first place.”

Fury sighed, “We need to talk about any information he may have inadvertently given you.” Tony raised an eyebrow,

“Okay.”

Fury sat down again, only slightly putting the genius at ease. “Do you recall anything that he may have revealed of himself? Maybe even projecting; claiming to know something about you by explaining his own past?”

Tony thought for a second, “Mmm, nope. We were too busy with torture for small talk. Will that be all?”

“I’m afraid not. The US military is very unhappy with me. I have to give them something. If there’s anything we know about villains, it’s that they’re damn narcissistic. Can’t go five minutes without talking about their tragic pasts. I’m sure you heard something, anything, that could be even slightly useful.”

“No. He never said anything about himself. He just wanted to know who I work for. And before you get your panties in a twist, I never told him. Besides he’s dead anyway so who’s gonna talk?”

“You are.”

“Hey,” Tony leaned forward and put a finger on the table, “You know I’d never, ever, leak secrets. Not that I can blame you for not having faith in me, but come on. I feel like I’ve proven time and time again where my loyalty lies.”

“That you have. And I personally trust you. You’re a fine member of the Avengers, even though you can be a massive pain at times. But-” He was interrupted by two soldiers entering the room. Tony stood and swung around to face them.

“You’re out of time, sir.” One of them said, “Fredericks wants to see him now.”

“Fredericks?” Tony asked, “Who’s that?”

“I was trying to soften the blow,” Fury said, “The military wants to interview you.”

“You mean interrogate?” Tony asked. Fury nodded.

“Please come with us, Mr Stark.” The same soldier said. Tony stood and strolled past them with his chest puffed out. Trying to hide that his stomach was doing flips. 

 

Fredericks was a white man, probably in his late fifties or early sixties. His face was wrinkled and dark with too much sun. Liver spots shown on his hands and what was visible of his wrists. Tony held himself high as he entered the room, looking the other man in the eye. It was your standard interrogation room: gray walls, one-way mirror, a metal table and chairs on either side. 

“Please, have a seat.” He had a gruff voice that sounded like he smoked too many cigarettes. Tony sat across from him. The soldiers from before closed the door, leaving the two alone. The older man sat with his hands folded in front of him.

“Mr Stark,” He started, “The United States military is concerned you may be hiding information from us,”

“Yeah, I got that part. I already told the director of SHIELD, I don’t know anything.”

“I’m disinclined to believe that, I’m afraid. Your personality and your history show me nothing to suggest that you’re an honest man.”

Well, damn if that didn’t sting a little.

“They also show nothing to suggest that I’d have any reason to keep this kind of information to myself. Or even want it in the first place.”

Fredericks sighed, “Alright. You got one chance to volunteer any information you might have to me, before I take it from you.”

“What, are you gonna torture me? Good luck with that, I’ve had my fair share and it doesn’t scare me. And, again, I don’t know anything.”

Fredericks looked to the window/mirror and nodded. The door clicked open a moment later and a soldier carrying a small box walked in. Tony could see two other soldiers standing on either side of the door outside of the room. The soldier set the box in the middle of the table and left, the door closing behind him. Tony stared as Fredericks opened the box and extracted a needle and a small glass vial. 

“What is that?” Tony asked.

“Truth serum.” Fredericks replied. Tony snorted at that, everyone knew this trick. SHIELD used it all the time; inject someone with saline and tell them it’s truth serum. 

“You don’t believe me, do you?” He asked.

“Not a chance,” Tony said.

“I assure you, Mr Stark, this is not a placebo. But I guess you’ll find out for yourself soon enough. If you’ll allow me-” He walked around the table and gestured to Tony’s arm. Tony glared up at him for a second and considered refusing, but he would just call in his goons and they would hold Tony down and it would be embarrassing. So Tony flipped his palm up and allowed the “serum” to be injected into him. He felt its effects immediately, starting to feel drowsy like he did after a few drinks. The military man took his seat and waited.

“So,” He said, “Anything you wanna tell me?”

“Yeah… You actually kinda intimidate me. Fury too. I mean, you guys have so much power over me. You could make me disappear and nobody would even notice.” Tony babbled. Then he looked the other man in the eye, “I didn’t mean to say that.”

“So it’s working,” Fredericks said with a smirk.

“Damn that smug face of his. Wait, did I say that out loud? Damn it.”

“Alright, alright,” Fredericks said, “Enough stalling. What happened on that island?”

“Oh. So I, stupidly, waited at the entry to Black’s hideout for my team to come find me. I let my guard down, he caught me, tortured me. Wanted to know names and the organization I’m working for blah blah blah. Obviously I didn’t tell him anything so he used waterboarding and I had flashbacks to the first time I was tortured. I was scared I was gonna break cause I really really hate water, can barely take a shower without freaking out. I was worried my team wouldn’t get there before I broke. But I managed to get out of my bonds, I’m kinda into bondage, by the way. There was this girl one time, she-”

“Mr Stark. Focus on the mission.”

“Right. Anyway I slammed his head into a table. Found a gun, pointed it at him. Told him I would shoot if he moved, which he did. So I shot him. I really meant to get him in the leg or something, but I was really disoriented. You know, from half drowning and getting kicked in the head. God, I didn’t mean to mess up this bad. I know you guys needed him alive.” Tony could feel his throat starting to constrict, “God are they gonna kick me out of the Avengers?” He asked.

“Is there anything else?” Fredericks asked. Tony shook his head no.

Fredericks sighed, “Sorry for wasting your time. The privates outside the door will show you out.”

“I think I can find my way. I’d rather be alone.” Tony said, standing to leave, silently cursing himself for not being able to keep his mouth shut.

\---

Tony entered the Avenger’s tower about an hour later. After being released, he had taken a drive around the city to cool off. He had forgotten to ask how long the truth serum would last, but hopefully not too long. Either way, he could just hide out in his lab until he could have a normal conversation. Unfortunately, as the elevator doors opened to his lab floor he saw Bruce on his couch waiting for him. He smiled and decided to keep his mouth shut.

“So, how’d it go?” Bruce asked. Tony shrugged. “That bad?” Tony gave a half hearted smile and shrugged again. “Why are you not talking?” Tony bit his lip and shrugged again.

“Tony.” Bruce said firmly, “What’s wrong?”

Tony sighed, “They injected me with a truth serum and I spilled my guts but I didn’t even have the secrets they wanted I just talked about all my own insecurities and how Fury scares me and I’m afraid I’ll get kicked out of the avengers and I’m into kinky stuff and sometimes get flashbacks an-”

“Whoah whoah whoah! Tony, slow down. They used truth serum on you? Real truth serum? I thought that was just a placebo.”

Tony shook his head no.

“So wait. I could ask you anything right now and get a straight answer?”

“Yes,” Tony said. “Please don’t, though.”

“Did you say you’re into kinky stuff?” Bruce asked, amused.

“Yes. Damn it.”

“What kind?”

“Mostly bondage but a little pain never hurt anyone you know what I me- Hey! Bruce, don’t do this.”

Bruce snickered. “Wow, Tony. Never knew you could blush like that. You look like a tomato.”

“It’s not funny,” Tony whined.

“On the contrary,” His friend said. He seemed to think for a moment as Tony went to tinker with something to keep his hands busy.

“Are you straight?” Bruce finally asked.

“Of course not. Have you seen Steve?” Tony replied absentmindedly. Well, there goes Bruce’s next question.

Realization struck Tony, “I need you to leave now, please.” He said without looking up from whatever he was working on.

“Tony, it’s okay. You know I would never judge you-”

“No, actually, I don’t know that!” Tony said, turning to face Bruce. “I can’t trust anyone. My closest friends always leave me. Rhodey hasn’t, but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time. I’m a terrible friend. I’m self centered, I’m an alcoholic. Be honest, Bruce. Who actually  _ wants _ to be around me?”

Bruce tried to interrupt but Tony wouldn’t let him.

“I try and I try and I try because I am so scared of everyone leaving. And I’ve been working so hard since Afghanistan to be a better person and sure I’ve saved a few lives since then but so many more have been lost because of me. The only reason anyone tolerates me is because I’m a genius and you all need me, sometimes. Not to suggest that you are all shallow and just want to use me, it’s just that I am not a nice enough person for you to want to be friends with me. Trust me, if I was anyone else I would never be around me.” Tony sat in his chair and sighed, defeated. He covered his face with his shaking hands. “Just… Please go now.”

Bruce stared. He couldn’t think of anything to say. This was how Tony really, truly felt? He thought everyone hated him. Bruce knew there was no way in hell he was going to change Tony’s mind, so he decided to do the only thing he could. Show Tony he wasn’t going anywhere. He sat back down on Tony’s couch.

Tony just sat as he was. He lost all of his secrets. Bruce would probably go upstairs and tell Steve that his least favorite person in the world had a  _ crush _ on him. Tony sighed and stood to get himself a drink when he noticed that Bruce hadn’t left.

“You know you can go, right?” He said. “Why are you still here?”

“I’m kinda worried about you, Tony. I never realized you’re so insecure.”

Tony meant to lie. To say  _ Me? Insecure? You got the wrong guy, Brucie Bear. _ But he couldn’t lie, so all that came out was, “You care?”

Bruce’s heart broke with those words. “Of course I care, Tony. We all care about you, you’re our teammate.” Bruce had stood and was now directly in front of Tony, looking him in the eye. Tony brushed past him to the liquor cabinet, where he poured himself a generous amount of bourbon.

“Drinking will only make you feel worse, Tony.” Bruce warned.

“I know.” Tony replied. Whatever, it’s not like he had anything left to hide. He knew alcohol was a downer, that’s why he drank. It helped him sleep.

“Tony,” Bruce started, “I think you should talk to Steve about your feelings for him.”

“Aaaaand this is why I keep secrets. I can’t talk to him, he’d never take me seriously. I’m just the child of his long lost friend who gets everything handed to me on a silver platter. I never earned anything, it was all thanks to that abusive bastard who was worshipped by the media for being a hero. Hero by day, monster by night.” Tony took a big drink of his bourbon. “And this is why I wanted you to leave. Nobody alive knows what my father was like behind closed doors, I’ve been trying so hard to put all that behind me.”

“Your father.. Abused you?” Bruce asked.

“Not just me, my mom too. She got it worse.” Tony said. He sighed, “You can’t tell anyone. Especially Steve, okay? He worships the guy. If he knew… It would crush him. And ruin our relationship. If he knew how much Howard hated me, who’s to say he wouldn’t understand and sympathize?”

“Tony that is… That is just ridiculous.” Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose and sat back down on the couch. Tony sat next to him with his drink in hand and stared across the room. 

“We all really care about you, Tony. It goes beyond how useful you are on and off the field. You’re our friend.”

Tony shook his head, “I wish I could believe that. I wish I could just tell you I believe you so you would feel better and go away. I hate that you think you can fix me or something.” Tony looked Bruce in the eye, “I am broken, okay? There’s nothing anyone can do, trust me.”

“Why does that have to be a bad thing?” Bruce asked. Tony just stared at him, confused.

“We’re all broken, Tony. There’s nothing wrong with that. We’re all broken in different ways, we all have skeletons in our closets.” Tony nodded and stared at the wall across from him. 

 

Steve had heard Tony pull into the garage about a half hour ago. He wanted to greet him but hadn’t seen him yet. He figured Fury yelled at him so he was probably in a mood and went into his workshop to cool off. Steve decided to surprise him with his favorite pizza so he ordered it as soon as he heard him get back. Steve stepped out of the elevator, pizza in hands, when he heard something he probably wasn’t supposed to.

“I think you and Steve might have a chance. He has the biggest crush on you, you know.”

“That would be nice. But I didn’t forget I’m the only one on truth serum here. Steve is nice, but he’s too smart to chance dating me. Even out of pity.”

Steve stood outside the door listening. Not that he meant to eavesdrop, he just… Okay, he was eavesdropping. 

“Can we talk about something else?” Tony asked, standing up and setting his drink aside. “I’ve been working on some specs for the Starkpad, I could use your help.”

“You’re deflecting.”

“Yep.” Tony moved to his computer desk and began working on codes, Bruce just stayed on the couch and stared at him. Tony looked up, “You gonna help me or not?” Bruce sighed and pulled the extra wheelie chair next to Tony.

Steve knocked on the door frame, “Pizza.”

“Ooh, what kind?” Bruce asked as he stood to greet the Captain. Steve flashed a smile bright enough to put all the stars in the sky out of business.

“Well, that’s cheesy,” Tony mumbled.

“What’s cheesy?” Steve asked, “The pizza? Cause that’s a bad pun, Even from you.”

Tony laughed, “Not the pizza. I was just thinking out loud cause I thought of something super cheesy. And I don’t know why I told you that, I think the truth serum they gave me makes it impossible for me to keep my damn mouth shut.” 

Steve laughed, “They gave you truth serum?”

“Yeah. Ask him anything, he can’t keep a secret.”

“I can so keep a secret… Under normal circumstances. This is not fair.” Tony grabbed a slice of pizza and began to eat. Maybe having his mouth full would keep him from talking.

Steve sat down on the couch and Bruce followed suit. Tony turned in his swivel chair to face them. Steve was trying to think of something to ask Tony that wasn’t too invasive. 

“You know he’s into kinky sex.” Bruce finally said. Steve nearly choked on pizza and Tony’s eyes went wide and he gave Bruce a very dangerous look.

“Come on Bruce. You’re joking.” Steve said, his face red with laughter.

“Nope ask him.”

Steve turned to Tony, who simply shook his head no.

“Tony are you into kinky sex?” Steve asked, still smiling. There was something in Steve’s voice, the laughter was still there, but with something else. Something Tony did not like. He looked Tony directly in the eye and asked again. “Tony? Do you like it when girls hold you down and tie you up and make you  _ beg _ for it?”

“God yes,” Tony said, “Not just girls, eith-” Tony gasped and covered his mouth. Steve smirked at him. Bruce looked really uncomfortable.

“I’m gonna go now. I think you guys could use some privacy.” He said, standing to leave.

“Please don’t.” Tony said.

“Goodnight!” Bruce said as he stepped into the elevator and the doors slid closed.

Tony put his head in his hands and groaned.

“Come on, Tony. It’s not that bad.” Steve said with a laugh. Tony just grunted. “Are you not even gonna talk to me?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m on a truth serum and the more I talk the more blackmail material I give you and anyone else who happens to listen in.”

“You can’t have any secrets so bad that your teammates can’t hear them. Come on, I’ll tell you a secret. First one’s free for me hearing about that kinky thing.”

“You can’t possibly have anything juicy enough to make me feel better about that.”

Steve took a deep breath, “I’ve never been with a girl.”

“What are you talking about, didn’t you date that one agent?”

“No, I mean I’ve never  _ been with _ a girl. I’ve never… Had sex with a girl.”

Tony stared at him for a moment. “You… You’re totally messing with me.”

Steve shook his head, “Nope. Never had sex with a girl.” Tony considered this for a moment.

“You keep saying, ‘with a girl’…”

Steve bit his lip, “Mhmm. Your point?” Steve already knew what he was thinking. It wasn’t true, but it was funny watching Tony fumble with the implication

“My point is,” Tony said, “Have you ever ‘been with’ a guy?” 

“I’m not sure what you mean, Tony. Like, have I ever been in the same room as a guy? Of course I have. I’m in a room with you right now.”

“Don’t be coy with me, Rogers. You know damn well what I mean.”

“I am so sorry,” Steve said, “You’re gonna have to be specific. I really don’t know what you mean.”

“You ever fucked a man, Steve?” Tony asked through gritted teeth, “Or been fucked by a man?”

“Wow, such language, Tony.” Steve joked with a smile. “Of course I haven’t.”

“Of course you haven’t.” Tony repeated.

“Aw, you sound disappointed.” Steve joked. Tony glared at him.

“I kinda am. You have a super soldier body and no sex drive? What’s that all about?”

Steve laughed, “Never said I don’t have a sex drive. I’ve just never had sex.”

“I’d be willing to help with that.” Tony said. He covered his mouth. He blamed it on the truth serum, but deep down he knew it would slip out eventually. But he couldn’t lie and pass it off as a joke. He looked Steve in the eye. Steve had a calculating look.

“I was joking,” Tony managed to say quickly, “That’s a lie. Damn it!” Tony was frustrated with himself. He was frustrated with this damn truth serum. He looked at Steve again, who still hadn’t said anything. “Please don’t laugh at me. I know you don’t want to have sex with me. Probably don’t even want to be friends with me, especially after what I just said. But, please Steve, I can’t lose you as a friend. I love you. Damn this truth serum I seriously can’t shut my mouth. But please, Steve. I really need you.”

“Tony.” Steve said firmly.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

“Sorry.” Tony said. There was a long pause. Then, “You can go.” It was barely audible. Steve nodded and stood to leave without another word. Tony sighed and put his head in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright need some ideas to wrap this up. What do we want; angst, romance, smut? I was kinda thinking a little bit of each, especially smut. LMK what ya'll think!

**Author's Note:**

> I DO NOT OWN RIGHTS TO ANY CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY  
> I'd like to thank my editor, PrincessSkylar. If you have time, pop on over and give her works a look, she's an amazing author.
> 
> I did not look up the thing about screens and brain cells, or the part about insomnia. Just wrote what I’ve heard.  
> I’m not very familiar with Thor’s character, and I really didn’t want to bother with trying to get him in character, so I've left him from this story. And I apologise for any other OOC-ness you may notice.  
> The Twister parts were difficult and tedious to write, and I haven’t played in years. I'm so sorry if those scenes feel rushed or hard to follow.  
> The book that Bruce is reading is A Case of Need by Michael Crichton, published under the name Jeffrey Hudson, (I believe he used an alias because it is a pro choice book that was published in the 60’s), it’s a great book, I would recommend reading it if you can find it, (even if you are pro-life, it’s a great novel. I was not pro-choice before reading it).  
> All opinions expressed by characters in this story, (homophobic and otherwise), are purely fictional and written for entertainment purposes, and do not reflect my actual opinions.  
> Many components of this story were taken from the blog otpprompts on tumblr  
> This story is very much Tony and Steve centric, so if you’re not a fan this story might not be your thing.


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